Friday, November 13, 2009

Becoming a housewife?

i came accross a very interesting article written by Maria Zain in Forward magazine (Issue 41, Nov 2009); entitled The Dying Birth Rate - and its abstract debate.

i will not be nagging about how exactly men and women are responsible for the declining birth rate, etc, but i would like to share a very interesting point that really caught my attention..

"for women who want to stay at home for the sake of their children, they should be allowed to, without being belittled or marginalised. feminists have been busy campaigning for equal rights to education and employment. so women should have the equal rights to be home-makers if they wish to be" Maria Zain

being forced to go to work
i heard too many opinions regarding this issue from my colleagues. and don't be surprise if i can conclude that 3/4 of them have a dream of becoming a housewife. some may find it as the best way to find serenity, and the other may find it as a way out from their stressful life as a student (i.e. quit from studies, get married and stay at home. is it as simple as this?).

apparently, most women out there are being forced to go to work, especially due to the social expectation, where women should venture outside of their homes and search for employment. familiar with these statements?

"it's good to work"

"it's great to earn money, especially when you had already put all your effort in your studies. if you don't go to work, it will be such a waste."

"it's for your own good. at least you will have 'back up' if something happen to your spouse"

successful women are always seen as those depicted with flourishing careers, a late marriage and even later children. while women who stay at home, cook family meals and keep the house clean are perceived as uneducated and not have the qualification to get a job.

it's pretty pathetic that most of the women out there work because the surrounding expect them to work (not because of their own passion or interest). their parents expect them to work. their in laws expect them to work, the government expect them to work, and even sometimes the husband expect them to work as well. in short, women are being discouraged from taking care of their family home and their children.

make your own choice
it doesn't matter whether a woman goes to work or not. it is just a matter of how the woman play her roles effectively, either at the office or at home. it would be great if a woman can jump into the society, contribute her skills and wisdom for the betterment of the ummah; but to look down on those who stay at home, doing the full-time childbearing chores; is totally not a right thing to do. don't forget that the "good housewives" are the ones that contribute in creating a loving environment at home and producing more high quality human capitals to our nation for the next generation.

thus, we should not expect that every woman to go to work nor every woman should be a housewife because every individual is different, thus making every family unique. instead, make your own choice. figure out which will bring out the best within you. there is no right or wrong answer in this case. create better lines for open communication within the marriage so that you and your spouse will come to a consensus to make the best decision.

note: me? please don't ask ^_^. now, i am still struggling to finalize the proposal for my final year project. having 3 minutes of consultation with prof kamaruzaman is so worth it. even though we have to make zillions of appoinments (the price we have to pay since he is the campus director ^_^), i am so glad to have him as my supervisor (mode bersemangat). plus, have to work on our resume during this semester break. resume? (diminishing the thought of becoming a housewife??? haha)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Labbaikallahumma labbaik...

"i saw a local Arab who was looking for his shoes. when he couldn't find it, he looked at me and said with a grin on his face "Alhamdulillah", "sadaqah".

instead of getting upset and cursing, he is thankful and considers that he just made a donation. it was a miracle that he can remain thankful even something bad has happened to him and he had to walk home barefoot. this kind of things is something that you read in books on the character of the Prophet s.a.w and his companions but I witnessed it being practiced with my own eyes."

this was an experience of a man who was so baffled as to what good deeds he had done to deserve him of being in the most blessed place on earth, Baitullah.

being "honoured" by Allah
All the pilgrims are actually the 'honoured' guests of Allah. it is wrong if they they have the thought that they are worthy to be in the holy city because they have done substantial 'amal' to deserve such an honour. Allah is the One that had chosen them to be there.

Long list of supplication
i could still remember a few years back, when my uncle and aunt went to Mecca for hajj. they were asking me what i would like to entrust them to make supplication. "erm, 4 flats for every semester, and becoming more prosperous". it was simply uttered out and thus my supplication was included along with other "worldly" long list of supplications that they brought to hajj.

only now then, i do realize how most of us are longing for divine intervention in the worldly problems we are facing: cure of sickness, better wealth and prosperity, securing government contract, good zauj/ah and so on.

it's very rare to find people entrusted the pilgrims to ask for forgiveness for them. i myself at that moment did not put repentance as my first priority. what i falied to realized at that moment was that the only thing that a servant should really wish for with all his/her heart is forgiveness for all the mischief he/she have done on this earth. the most precious thing that one can have is the realization of repentance.

only now, we seek for His help
most of us pray the obligatory five daily prayers and if we do anything extra, it is because we want something from Him. we never miss tahajjud during our examination period. we refrain ourselves from the sinful gossips (is there any permissible gossip? ^_^), and other side activities that may distract our focus to finish revising the 4 months' syllabus in just 2 days. how pious we have turn into during this examination season. oh, how i wish everyday is examination day so that i can be pious all the time. ^_^

if we want to have a prosperous and good life, put the Creator first before anything else and have the conviction that whatever happens , it is for the best and Allah is for surely the best of planners.

p/s: happy eid everybody (walaupun lambat lagi). i can't explain how i feel whenever is see the sea of pilgrims in their white ihram, around the ka'abah. how lucky they are. i wonder when i will be invited by Him to be there. when i will be able to set foot n the holiest mosque and ask for forgiveness for all my sins. will i be able to be there before the 'ajl comes and take away my last breath?