kholastu.

selesai sudah perjuangan satu semester. bakal merindui murabbi2 yang berjaya menjentik dan mengingatkan hati nurani ini untuk sentiasa tenang dan terus mencari 'nilai' di sebalik ilmu yang dicapai. terima kasih ya Allah atas nikmat ini. the most interesting part i learnt here is that: i can learn anything. ilmu Allah itu sangat luas.

ole-ole sempena cuti intersemester

able to grab these souvenirs for my 2 weeks holidays. hehe. walaupun poket seringkali kontang, rasanya tak perlu susah-susah hati sebab takde duit nak beli buku. bergunung buku-buku kat library tu meronta-ronta untuk dibaca. happy reading, everyone!

semoga kecintaan pada ilmu semakin berapi-api. dan semoga walaupun dengan hanya sedikit ilmu yang diperoleh, bisa mendekatkan diri ini pada Pencipta Sekalian Alam. Ameen.

the outcome of stress

tanpa menghiraukan kerja yang menimbun, serta projek mini yang masih tergendala, inilah hasilnya. supper sempena menonton siri akhir 'Hani'. hehe

first batch: sweet buns

second batch: cheezy sweet buns

enough, khamisah. berazam meletakkan usaha yang lebih gigih terhadap pelajaran sebelum bergelut dengan final exam yang semakin hampir. may Allah bless us all.

the artistic part in me

we were discussing on the term 'modernization', when suddenly the topic of ART just popped out. Dr Yedullah asked "what is art?". i was having fun watching others made their attempts to answer his question, and at the same time recalling the same question asked by julia roberts to her students in Mona Lisa Smile (sempat lagi. haha); then dr yedullah threw a question to me:

dr Y: "when was the last time you have ever make a poem?"

me: "during my secondary school" (i suddenly realized that i lied. the last time was during my fourth year studies in Kuantan. mona n k marlina should know this very well. haha)

science vs art

i remembered during my childhood years, mak selalu beli children science encyclopedia. masa sekolah rendah, majalah tunas sains, rakan sains memang akan dilanggan. my siblings n i were having fun reading all that kind of materials. segala unsur-unsur science n math akan diserap dengan sesungguhnya oleh mak.

when i was in standard 6, mak start hantar pergi tusyen kelas lukisan. yes, lukisan! di saat2 orang lain berpusu-pusu hantar anak-anak mereka ke tusyen sains, matematik, english, etc, aku belajar melukis dengan cikgu salmah (kawan sekolah mak). mungkin sebab mak pun suka all those artistic things. this is where it all begins. terkial-kial masa mula-mula pegang berus. nak melukis kena banyak bersabar. lagi-lagi kalau tangan keras macam batu. (p/s: kalau ada anak-anak yang jenis tak sabar, cuba masukkan dalam kelas lukisan. a very good therapy for them). then masa form 3, start masuk pertandingan dan bergiat aktif buat mural kat sekolah, but it all ended masa masuk kisas. dah jarang2 sangat pegang berus. konon-konon busy sangat belajar sains. otak kananku dizalimi. huhu

masa kat uia kuantan, di saat bersungguhan buat 'last minute' revision, bila dah penat sangat, tiba-tiba aku akan panggil k marlina n mona keluar bilik untuk dengar aku baca sajak. hahahaha. this is funny! not to forget, waktu exam la jugak keluarnya idea untuk buat design2 baru for our cuppies. mona kata, "awak guna otak kiri banyak sangat, otak kanan awak meronta-ronta la tu untuk digunakan". mona sangat bijak to come out with this theory.

arts and wealth

dr yedullah kata: richness of a culture depends on the richness of the meanings of your life. and art gives meanings into your life. from a very relative meaning of richness, i could simply say that oils buried under the soil will not make you rich. high tech instruments will not make you rich. your nation's richness simply lies upon a poem created by a naive girl expressing her thoughts while developing her wisdoms.

integration of science and art

i wish i could be excel in both science and art. boleh jadi macam ibnu sina, ibnu khaldun, al farabi, n ramai lagi tokoh-tokoh islam zaman dulu kala. who says art must have to be in specialty? why science has to be so confined that only the science people can talk about it? n why must art people refuse to understand the world using all those scientific laws, which eventually leads us to glorify the greatness of Allah's creation, thus make us pious? n why kpt n jpa refuse to sponsor these art programs compared to other 'glamorous' fields like medicine, laws, economics, etc? (taktau nak classify law n econs as art or tak. hehe)

we have both science and art senses in us. it's sunnatullah. semoga berjaya menjadi hamba Allah terbaik dengan memaksimakan segala potensi.

i'm an artistic scientist! ^_^

Book series

1. What i believe by Tariq Ramadhan

i grabbed this book during my 'jalan-jalan' day with my friend, hafizah last month at Kino, KLCC. the price can afford 10 lunch meals for me. (kedekut tahap gajah sebab all expenses fully sponsored by family.hehe.) however, the excitement i felt whenever every page was flipped worth every penny spent.

i was having quite a hard time to finish reading this book, though it's not that thick. sometimes i really need to read the text repeatedly to clearly understand the author's idea. Nevertheless, very well worth the effort. i became more excited when i reflect some of his idea and relate it with my philosophy lecturer's kind of thought in the class.

the author, Tariq Ramadhan, is the grandson of imam Hasan al-Banna (Ikhwanul Muslimin). as the author mentioned himself, this book is a perfect introduction for those who are just beginning to understand his kind of thoughts, rather than 'googling' about him in the internet.

happy reading everyone!

p/s: going to have fun reading John steinbeck's piece of work. kena gelak ngan busyra sebab amik master tapi baca buku kanak-kanak. haha

hidup yang sementara...

sudah lama tidak mengunjungi kawasan perkuburan. kalau di kuantan dulu, dalam perjalanan ke jhc, pasti akan melalui satu kawasan perkuburan islam. sambil-sambil layan blues dan mata menjeling ke luar bas, hati akan mula terdetik untuk mengucapkan salam dan menyedekahkan al-fatihah serta sedikit doa agar dipermudahkan urusan para muslimun itu di alam kubur.

bersabarlah duhai sahabat...

semalam dikejutkan dengan kembalinya ibunda nur hidayah hussin ke rahmatullah. sedikit terkejut kerana ziarahku yang terakhir menampakkan perkembangan kesihatannya yang baik setelah menjalani pembedahan. walaupun hanya sekali aku berpeluang mencurah bakti dengan melakukan 'dressing' pada luka bedahnya, pemergian makcik Jamaliah memberi kesan yang agak mendalam. semoga Allah menempatkan allahyarham di kalangan orang2 yang soleh.

mati itu pasti

regardless of the severe abdominal pain, aku gagahkan jugak langkah untuk ke rumah hidayah. setelah selesai solat jenazah, together with diah, n khuzairi untuk ke kawasan perkuburan. diah kata: "nanti semua orang mesti datang kat sini jugak kan?" tiba-tiba diselubungi ketakutan yang amat sangat. keseorangan menjawab segala persoalan munkar dan nakir. soalan-soalan yang tidak boleh dihafal jawapannya seperti menjawab peperiksaan2 yang biasa.

jom sama-sama persiapkan diri menuju mati. mati itu pasti. tiada siapa mampu larikan diri. tinggalkan semua harta, pangkat dan segala yang dikasihi. hanya amal kebaikan yang membantu nanti.

Quest of knowledge

it had been a week since i enrolled in this master program. feeling proud? NOPE! not at all. i would rather say it is terrifying. most of the time, i'm the only freshgrad student from different field that attended the class. haha. deserves me right, i guess! feeling great? of course! i managed to meet those knowledgable person (yet they are sooooo modest!). the excitement i felt whenever i went out from each lecture will definitely motivates me to put more effort into it. insyaAllah.

i'm doing fine

for those who wonder whether i can survive in here, i'm ok, i guess. for now at least i am. i have to adapt well. i'm 24. not 14. (though never feel like one). the mosque is great. the library is a bless where i found myself drowning among those books. the only part of my body that feels the pressure are my foot. Ruqayyah is soooo la far away. you can even finish reciting the ma'thurat halfway to my kulliyyah. (serius jauh. tak tipu). yet, i feel serene here.

putting away the frustrations and MOVE ON!

dr burhan, my statistics lecturer, drew the attention of the class to me when he asked, "what makes you change your field?" before i even have the time to activate my neurons and give excuses, he guessed, "self satisfaction?" "exactly sir! that is one of the reasons". i sat and began to ponder. is it? at first i thought it is only some sort of denial kind of act, rooted from my frustrations, and after several discussions with my personal counselor, kak sarah. ^_^

i cannot lie. the guilt is always there, where i did not go for my clinical practice. i'm willing to give back the award given, as long as i wouldn't feel like such anymore.

i believe there is a hikmah behind all that happen. there must be reasons why i'm being positioned by Allah in here. i just have to move on. trying my best to grab all the wisdom from all the great scholars around me. please pray for me. may Allah shower His blessings upon us all.

p/s: my personal aims; to learn arabic, to be friends with LOTS of foreigners (the darker the better.. chang should know this. hehe), get ENGAGED with books!

don't blame those emotions...

this entry is dedicated to miss hidayati. hehe

"pagi-pagi kak yat dah buat kita beremosi", i was mumbling as i began to have palpitation and my hands already trembled with fear.

"bagusla kalau dah beremosi. baru ko akan ingat sampai bila-bila", kak yat said.

so, i began to recall all those anatomy and physiology classes i attended. so, here is the theory:

The amygdala and hippocampal complex, two medial temporal lobe structures, are linked to two independent memory systems, each with unique characteristic functions. In emotional situations, these two systems interact in subtle but important ways. Specifically, the amygdala can modulate both the encoding and the storage of hippocampal-dependent memories. The hippocampal complex, by forming episodic representations of the emotional significance and interpretation of events, can influence the amygdala response when emotional stimuli are encountered. Although these are independent memory systems, they act in concert when emotion meets memory.

tak faham? ok, we might be familiar with these situations:

si A: "ingat tak masa kita pergi teluk cempedak dulu?"

si B: "mestila ingat. aku geram gila kot dengan si polan tu...bla..bla"

si C: "eh. ingat lagi tak kat cikgu ZZ?"

si B: "mestila ingat. tension kot masuk kelas dia. asyik mengamuk je... bla, bla.."

sesuatu peristiwa atau manusia akan lebih kita ingati sekiranya ada penglibatan sang emosi.

thus, in short, emotions do induce memory.

maka,

1. kalau anda beremosi ketika belajar (nota: ghairah, kecewa kerana dimarahi pensyarah), anda mungkin akan lebih mudah mengingati topik yang dipelajari.

2. kalau anda beremosi ketika melihat kemungkaran (nota: marah, benci, menyampah), anda mungkin akan sentiasa ingat supaya tidak melakukan perkara yang sama.

3. kalau anda beremosi ketika hampir exam (nota: takut, berdebar-debar), anda mungkin akan sentiasa ingat supaya tidak tidur di kelas dan buat ulangkaji lebih awal kerana memikirkan tentang perasaan takut itu.

4. kalau anda beremosi ketika orang berbuat baik kepada anda (nota: terharu), anda mungkin akan sentiasa ingat untuk mendoakan kesejahteraan orang itu.

5. kalau anda beremosi menonton berita-berita palsu di televisyen mahupun akhbar2 (nota: menyampah, mual), anda mungkin akan sentiasa ingat jika anda memiliki stesen tv anda sendiri suatu hari nanti, anda hanya akan memaparkan hanya berita-berita yang sahih.

emotional management in Islam

there is nothing wrong to have all those emotions. we are not denied being "human" and having our weak moments. we are allowed to experience all sorts of feelings, both good and bad, as long as we make a serious effort to regain our balance and composure and get back in control quickly.

MODERATE! yes. Islam teaches moderation in everything, aiming to create equilibrium so that one is always at peace. to be wise and strong human, one must be able to control of their feelings, and not the other way around.

p/s: jangan disalahkan emosi atas segala perbuatan bodoh lagi hodoh yang kita lakukan. semoga sama2 menemui kematangan dan kebijaksanaan dalam beremosi! ^_^